As I have grown up, NPR has kind of become the soundtrack to my life against my will. Whether I’m in the kitchen, or the car or even the living room, NPR is bound to resound sooner or later. Sounds of Fresh Air with Terry Gross, The Splendid Table with Lynne Rosetto Kasper, or This American Life have become all too familiar with me. Growing up, I always angrily told my mother I would never ever listen to NPR. Why would I? Yesterday, NPR revealed to me that the shape of pretzels originated from Catholic monks who would give small boys pretzels as a reward for good religious practice and are shaped to represent a boys arms praying. And after this story was over I was like who the hell cares about this stuff? All things considered, I have recently succumb to NPR’s brainwashing voices and querky stories and have found myself tuning to 91.7 more often than I would like to admit. It’s gotten so bad that I even listen to Serial, a murder mystery series hosted by Sarah Koenig, in my free time. Pretty soon I’ll be driving a Subaru Outback covered in bumper stickers.
Something I have noticed in my years of listening to NPR is that the hosts have quite the collection of unusual names: Audie Cornish, Lack Shme Sing, Guy Risdall, Ira Glass, Cokey Roberts, Ari Shapiro, Terry Gross, Amy Salad, Don Gonyea, Guy Raz, Lynne Rosetto Kasper etc. It almost as if one of the requirements to work for NPR is that you must have a really odd name. Radio is the theater of the mind and so consequently over the years I have generated images of what I think these people would look like. So I’m going to play a game where I describe how I think this talk show and see how correct I am.
How I think she would look: A very short Asian woman wearing glasses with dark hair cut to about shoulder length. Kind of like the woman in the Incredibles who designs the super suits…
How she actually looks:
How I imagine she would look: A short woman with curly red longish hair with ears that peak out from her hair like an elf. I would think shed be wearing a olive jacket and holding a yellow notepad…
How she actually looks:
How I imagine: I’m imagining a man with jet black hair greased backwards and think bushy mustache upon his upper lip.
I had high hopes for Don:
How I imagine he would look: A tall man wearing a suit with spiky grey hair and a soft face who wears glasses and has multiple wrinkles upon his forehead.
How Ira looks:
How I imagine her: A tall brunette woman with longish hair and a long face wearing a black sport coa and a blue blouse.
How Amy looks:
(couldn’t find Amy)
How I imagine him: I’m imagining an older horse who has seen a lot of horses come and go throughout his stables however he has never left himself and growing tired of life
How Garison actually looks: