TED Talk

Hello readers, meet my dog Ted, a labradoodle. We got Ted as a Christmas present two years ago, and I’d be lying if I said it was love at first sight. We soon discovered Ted’s fluffy cream white coat and his innocent playfulness were all just a facade for a defecating,chewing machine. In Ted’s mind, ruining our couches, peeing on every square inch of the carpet, and chewing multiple valuable items was his way of initiating himself into the family. Two years have gone by and even my mother has grown to love him.  Teddy isn’t the most obedient dog and often times confuses sit and shake. Occasionally he will even attempt both tasks simultaneously in pursuit of a biscuit, however this feat has yet to be accomplished and usually leaves Ted on his back. While Teddy isn’t the most obedient dog, he is smarter than your average hound and has some funny quirks:

One mans trash is another dogs treasure. Every man wants something to call his own, and so does Ted. His crate is home to loose socks, underwear, and other gems. Last week I found a cup of feta cheese! Ted tends to take anything he can get his jaw around so if your missing something, chances are Ted has collected it for you.

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While we try to make it clear that Ted is in fact a dog, he still sits like a sophisticated philosopher. Struggling with small dog syndrome, Ted walks with the ego of a great Dane. That is until he is faced with scary objects like meter sticks, stink bugs, dog costumes, or vacuums. Also, while on walks Ted will not come within a 100 meter radius of a playground and will make no more forward progress.

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After doing some research, I’ve found that this a pose commonly struck during nap time for labradoodles. Ted aims to take up as much of the couch as possible while sleeping and becomes highly irritated if you try and move him.

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Ted also find comfort in a half full laundry basket, where he can snuggle up to with your favorite sweater and deposit his scent throughout the basket.

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